i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
