porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize