i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
