question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I did not marry a roomba.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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