we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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