you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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