all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
