For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
