I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
