I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
