Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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