The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
