I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
