In the future we'll all be gay
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
