Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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