addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
