ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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