this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
