She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
