Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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