your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
