your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
