you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
