I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
