She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
