Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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