Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
