My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
