You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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