FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize