you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize