she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
