You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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