She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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