My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
