i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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