I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
