and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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