just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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