Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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