Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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