i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
