I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
