I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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