Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Acid is not a monday night drug
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
