I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
