he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So much Jack, so little girl.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
