You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize