The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
