I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
