Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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