the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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