i was rollin on her like bob the builder
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
