he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
