So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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