Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's official drugs can't kill me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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