btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
