don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
