I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
