Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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