Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
