So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
