You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
