apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
