im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
