Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
