apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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