just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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