Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize