worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
