How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
